I talked to a rock and I talked to a tree
I tried to talk to a doggie but he barked at me
And I talked to a dude and I talked to the ground
I tried to talk to a squirrel but I couldn’t run him down
All I want is just to ask you a couple questions
Are you living or non-living?
Do you have cells and use energy?
Are you capable of reproductivity?
If you said yes to all of these, then you’re alive.
Is waste one of your byproducts?
Did you start small but now you’ve grown up?
Do you respond to stimulus?
And would you say that you have developed?
Would you say that you can move it like you’re shaking to the groove?
And are you carbon based, or are you new and improved?
Were you born and can you die?
If it’s no, you’re not alive
So let’s go hit the chorus just one more time