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Munchkin Mediation

A Musical Play for Kids about Character Education
Ron Fink and John Heath

Bad Wolf Press provides fun and easy musical plays for K-9 classrooms
*  Bring your curriculum, your classroom to life
*  Absolutely no musical talent/ability needed!
*  Catchy melodies, dumb jokes, interesting stories
*  Everything you need at one low price

Casting

Flexible casting from 11-40 students. Use as many Munchkins, Flying Monkeys, etc. in each scene as desired. One student can easily play several roles if needed, and individual roles can be doubled up. Note that all roles can be played by either boys or girls; see our comments on page 38 of the Teacher’s Guide.

Script

CHARACTERS:

Munchkins (3)
Wicked Witch of the East
Flying Monkeys (4)
Dorothy
Toto
Wicked Witch of the West
Good Witch of the North
Scarecrow
Lion
Tin Woodsman
Wizard
Winkies (3)

and a CHORUS composed of all students who are not playing
roles on stage at the time.

Song 1
Vocal      Instrumental

(CLASS gathers on stage. Music begins. Individual students
step forward and speak.)

STUDENT A (spoken in loud, clear voice):
You all know the story
How Scarecrow got a brain
Lion got some courage
The witch went down the drain.

STUDENT B (spoken in loud, clear voice):
Dorothy’s back in Kansas
Tin Woodman has a heart
Think that’s where it ended?
No—that is just the start.

CHORUS:
’Cause one year later
They’re fighting tooth and claws
One year later
They’ve all come back to Oz…
Because they need some
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins know it all
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins stand up tall.

STUDENT C (spoken in loud, clear voice):
Dorothy snaps at Toto
And Toto barks right back
Lion and Tin Woodman
Are mad and talking smack.

STUDENT D (spoken in loud, clear voice):
Scarecrow’s throwing tantrums
The wizard has a twitch
There are restraining orders
On every single witch.

CHORUS:
’Cause one year later
They’re fighting tooth and claws
One year later
They’ve all come back to Oz…
Because they need some
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins know it all
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins stand up tall.

Conflict Resolution
Munchkins know it all
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins stand up…

Conflict Resolution
Munchkins know it all
Conflict Resolution
Munchkins stand up tall.
They stand up tall
They stand up tall
Tall, tall, tall, tall
Tall, tall, tall, tall.

(TWO MUNCHKINS are talking to each other. Another
MUNCHKIN (#1) runs on stage towards them, excited.)

MUNCHKIN #1: Hey, have you heard? Dorothy’s come back to Oz! She’s here
right now in Munchkin Country.

MUNCHKIN #2: Toto too?

MUNCHKIN #1: Toto too.

MUNCHKIN #2: Man, I HATE that dog.

MUNCHKIN #3: You can’t hate Toto. Nobody hates Toto. He’s the cutest dog
ever.

MUNCHKIN #2: Cute? He thought I was a chew toy.

MUNCHKIN #3: That was an accident.

MUNCHKIN #2: An accident! He tried to bury me in the back yard.

MUNCHKIN #1: Would you guys listen up? ALL the old Oz folks have come back.
They’re having troubles and need to learn how to solve their problems.

MUNCHKIN #3 (proudly): Well, we Munchkins ARE the world’s experts in
conflict resolution.

MUNCHKIN #2 (looking off stage): Hey, who’s that? It’s not Dorothy or her
pit bull, is it?

MUNCHKIN #1: No, it’s the Wicked Witch of the East.

(WICKED WITCH of the EAST enters. She is represented
by Two Actors, each of whom holds one of her legs in front
of him/her—they ARE the legs. The Actors take turns speaking
her lines.)

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: Well, don’t just stand there staring.

MUNCHKIN #3: Sorry. But you’re, uh, well…you look like two legs.

WICKED WITCH of the EAST: I AM two legs. That’s all that’s left—I was the
victim of a hit and run house. Now I’ve returned to punish that little brat
who landed her bedroom on me.

MUNCHKIN #1: You can’t really blame Dorothy for that.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: Oh I can’t, can’t I? I’m a witch. It’s my job to
cackle a lot and go after innocent little girls from Kansas.

MUNCHKIN #2: That’s a cool job.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: And it’s got a nice 401k. But it’s hard to enjoy
retirement when you’ve been FLATTENED. I’m going to get even with that
reckless little twit. I’ll teach her to drive a house without a license.

MUNCHKIN #3: I can understand why you might be upset.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: UpSET?! I’m not upset. I’m irate! I’m furious!!
I’m PEEVED!!!

MUNCHKIN #1: You’ve got to settle down. The first step in managing conflict
is to calm down. Take a big breath. Go on.

(WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST takes a giant breath.)

MUNCHKIN #2: There. That’s better, isn’t it?

MUNCHKIN #3: Are you still mad?

Song 2
Vocal      Instrumental

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST:
Am I mad?
Well let’s see—
Someone dropped a house on me!
And nothing nothing nothing but my feet were sticking out.

Sure I’m mad
I see red
There’s a farmhouse on my head!
It makes me want to cast a spell and punch and kick and shout!

CHORUS:
You gotta calm down
You gotta calm down
Gotta keep two feet upon the ground
There is no doubt
To work things out
Take a big breath ’cause you gotta calm down.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST:
But I’m mad
And I’m back
And I’m on that felon’s track
I’m gonna search until I find that creep
who stole my shoes.

When I do
I’ll show grace…
Drop a condo on her face
It’s time that stinkin’ rotten little Dorothy paid her dues.

MUNCHKINS and CHORUS:
You gotta calm down
You gotta calm down
Gotta keep two feet upon the ground
There is no doubt
To work things out
Take a big breath ’cause you gotta calm down.
Take a big breath…ah…’cause you gotta calm down.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST (spoken): I see your point. I’ve got to calm down
before I can solve any problems.

MUNCHKIN #1: Try counting.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: How far?

MUNCHKIN #2: Until you feel your anger has cooled.

MUNCHKIN #3: Or until you pass out.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST: Okay, I’ll give it a try.
(SHE starts to exit, counting slowly; she gets mad towards
end of line)
One…two—two legs, which is all I have because of THAT LITTLE…
(catches herself)
Er…three…four…five—five toes on two legs and no fingers because THAT SNEAKY
LITTLE…
(catches herself, starts over)
Uh…one, two, three, four…
(Exits)

MUNCHKIN #1: I’m not sure the counting is going to do it.

(THREE FLYING MONKEYS enter)

MONKEY #1: Did someone say something about counting?

MONKEY #2: We LOVE math.

MUNCHKIN #2: What are you flying monkeys doing here? Aren’t you supposed to
be flying or something?

MONKEY #3: We were. But we heard you talking numbers. Are you going to do
some algebra?

ALL THREE MONKEYS: Flying Monkeys LOVE algebra.

MONKEY #1 (with enthusiasm): If Monkey X is flying east at 40 miles an
hour…

MONKEY #2: And Monkey Y is flying west at 30 miles an hour…

MONKEY #3: And Monkey Z is flying north at 50 miles an hour…

ALL THREE MONKEYS: Then: how long does it take to ditch Monica?

MUNCHKIN #3: Who’s Monica?

MONICA (enters, out of breath): Hey guys! Where’d…ya…go?

ALL THREE MONKEYS: Monica!

MONKEY #1: She’s my little sister.

MONICA (angry): You ditched me…on…purpose!
(SHE raises his fist and starts toward MONKEY #1; the other
MONKEYS get in her way)

MUNCHKIN #2: That’s no way to solve a problem.

MONKEY #2: It was just a joke, Monica.

MONICA: You guys are all creeps.

MUNCHKIN #3: Insults aren’t going to help. You have to use “I-Statements.”

MONICA: Okay. “I” think you guys are all creeps.

MONKEY #1: That’s not what he means, Monica.

MONKEY #2: You remember the formula we were talking about the other day,
don’t you?

MONKEY #3: It’s our patented equation for solving problems. Here, we’ll go
over it again.

Song 3
Vocal      Instrumental

THREE MONKEYS (not MONICA):
When you do X, I feel Y, so what I’d like is Z.
When it comes to solving problems that’s our recipe.
When you’re in a conflict here’s the formula that’s key:
When you do X, I feel Y, so what I’d like is Z.

MONKEY #1 (spoken to MONICA): Try it, Monica! Tell us what’s wrong.

MONICA:
When you fly off to the sky and keep your plans from me
I feel sad and short of breath and need some oxygen
So I’d like an invitation every now and then

OTHER MONKEYS:
When you do X, I feel Y, so what I’d like is Z.

MONKEYS (not MONICA):
Now that was perfect
We never knew
Now that was perfect
Now it’s clear what to do!

ALL MONKEYS and CHORUS:
When you do X, I feel Y, so what I’d like is Z.
When it comes to solving problems that’s our recipe.
When you’re in a conflict here’s the formula that’s key:
When you do X, I feel Y, so what I’d like is Z.
(FLYING MONKEYS all exit.)

MUNCHKIN #1: Hey, I think I see Dorothy coming.

MUNCHKIN #2: And Toto too?

MUNCHKIN #1: Toto too.

MUNCHKIN #2: I’m outa here.
(runs off)

MUNCHKIN #3 (shouting after him): He’s had his shots!

(DOROTHY and TOTO enter. THEY are arguing, talking
over one another and interrupting.)

DOROTHY: See, Toto? You scared off that poor little Munchkin.

TOTO (begins speaking on “off”): Just because I buried him once out in the
backyard—that’s what dogs do.

DOROTHY (begins speaking on “backyard”): Would you let me finish a sentence
before you jump in and start talking and interrupt me?

TOTO (begins speaking on “start”): You always interrupt me.

MUNCHKIN #1: Whoa! Hold on you two!

MUNCHKIN #2: You can’t keep interrupting each other.

MUNCHKIN #3: You’ve got to try some active listening—really try to hear
what the other person is saying and take turns.

DOROTHY and TOTO (together): But it’s his/her fault!

(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)

 

See more of our Musical Plays, School Presentations, Social Skills, Positive Attitudes and Character Education Song Lyrics

Many thanks to Ron Fink and John Heath for permission to display these lyrics.
© Ron Fink and John Heath. All rights reserved. Used with permission. 

 



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